When the last train out of the Congressional station is a behemoth of 7517 pages, you can bet that every strange thing you can possibly imagine will be trying to hitch a ride in the caboose. And the “Clean Up the Code Act of 2019” is one of those strange things.

We agree that cleaning up the main criminal code of the U.S. Federal Government is an important goal. The more interesting story would be how, exactly, the improper transportation of water hyacinths became a criminal violation. And how about that Swiss Confederation coat of arms?

Considering the vast range and size of Title 18 U.S.C., it’s also a little surprising that there are only nine ridiculous items to be stripped out. As things go in Washington, they probably couldn’t come to agreement on a wider array of the truly extraneous in the title. Read on to learn all the other items that are no longer subject to criminal penalties – but don’t go thinking you can just use that 4-H emblem for anything nefarious! We’re keeping our eye on you…

TITLE X—CLEAN UP THE CODE ACT OF 2019

SEC. 1001. SHORT TITLE.  This title may be cited as the ‘‘Clean Up the Code Act of 2019’’.

SEC. 1002. REPEALS. The following provisions of title 18, United States Code, are repealed:

• (1) Section 46 relating to transportation of  water hyacinths.
• (2) Section 511A relating to unauthorized application of theft prevention decal or device.
• (3) Section 707 relating to 4–H club emblem fraudulently used.
• (4) Section 708 relating to Swiss Confederation coat of arms.
• (5) Section 711 relating to ‘‘Smokey Bear’’ character or name.
• (6) Section 711a relating to ‘‘Woodsy Owl’’ character, name, or slogan.
• (7) Section 715 relating to ‘‘The Golden Eagle Insignia’’.
• (8) Chapter 89—Professions and Occupations.
• (9) Section 1921 relating to receiving Federal employees’ compensation after marriage