It’s August, and if you’re lucky, you can take a few days to enjoy the weather and think about something besides the daily grind. That’s certainly true in Washington with both the House and the Senate on a “District Work Period” (cough – August vacation – cough). The House is scheduled to be back next week, at least briefly. But we’re guessing lots of politicians are spending some time at their local county and state fairs doing what politicians do – glad handing, judging the “Beautiful Baby” contests, eating deep fried Twinkies on a stick, and admiring the carved butter cow. In reality, some of what goes on in the Capitol resembles these fairs, minus a hayride (well there is that mini-subway on the Senate side…).

First up, the Carnival Rides and Midway Sights like:

The House of Mirrors – with apologies to the manufacturers of sideview mirrors, sometimes what’s in the mirror is actually smaller than it appears. That’s how we would describe Congress pretending to exercise “oversight” over trillions in pandemic and infrastructure spending by making miniscule increases to Inspector General accounts at various federal agencies.

Merry-Go-Round of Misery – What goes around comes around. Every year taxpayers spend tens of billions on agriculture subsidies no matter the state of the farm economy. Then comes COVID-19, trade wars, and repeated disaster aid, leaving taxpayers’ heads spinning with no end in sight.

Pendulum Ride – Subsidies for the biofuels industry have historically tipped the scales in its direction, but tax breaks for electric vehicles are threatening to leave biofuels hanging. Either way, taxpayers are caught in the middle, with billions wasted along the way.

Then there are the Carnival Games, like:

Whack-a-mole – this popular game is evident in how Congress approaches the so-called “Buy American” provisions in recently passed legislation. As soon as you think a bad idea like Coal to Kaiserslautern is dead, the Bipartisan Infrastructure Framework demands a preference for American-made construction materials, “including steel, iron, manufactured products, non-ferrous metals, plastic and polymer-based products (including polyvinylchloride, composite building materials, and polymers used in fiber optic cables), glass (including optic glass), lumber, and drywall.” These requirements will drive up the costs of many construction projects, meaning fewer can be realized.

High Striker – Congress keeps giving favored industries a swing of the hammer to demonstrate new energy technologies, like mini-nuclear reactors and carbon capture methods. Time after time, these demonstration projects fall short of hitting the bell and produce little to show for taxpayers’ money. But that doesn’t stop Congress from buying more tickets and letting industry take another swing at it. The Energy Act of 2020 and the infrastructure package are chock full of billions of dollars for demonstration projects. At some point, Congress needs to realize the industries just aren’t strong enough to get by without federal subsidies and buying more tickets is a waste of money.

There are also plenty of Carnival Events, like:

Greased pig scramble – This is supposed to be an amusing event where little kids get their hands greased and then charge around trying to capture one of a litter of piglets. But the Congressional version involves Members of Congress trying to evade earmark rules and racing to the trough for more money for their districts at the behest of local contractors.

Oxen pulling — Pentagon heavyweights vie for extra funding for their military services by asking for items not in the President’s Budget Request via the so-called “Unfunded Priorities Lists”. Line up at the window and place your bet on which General or Admiral can pull the largest pallet of cash back to their service “barn”.

Harness racing — Pentagon spending is racing around the big track but it always ends up at the same place – more money for the Pentagon. Even with roughly $715 billion in the Fiscal Year 2022 budget request, some “Defense Hawks” in Congress think that isn’t enough and want a 3-5% real increase in Pentagon spending every year. Hold tight on the fiscal reins, because that quickly adds up to a trillion in annual Pentagon spending.

Finally, everyone’s favorite part of their local fair, Carnival Foods:

Eating Contest – Contestants lined up to guzzle down pie or hot dogs resemble nothing so much as DC lobbyists ready to chow down on government largesse. The oil and gas industry is a perennial favorite at supping on subsidies. After years of feasting on tax breaks, and policies for leasing federal land slanted in their favor, their appetite for subsidies is seemingly boundless. After gorging on COVID-19 giveaways, the industry is returning to historic production levels, but that doesn’t mean they won’t stop to slam down some 45Q tax credits for goosing their wells with captured carbon – water to wet the buns was provided by the IRS earlier this year when they issued lax rules for claiming the credit.

Food Stands – Farm subsidies are on display too – everything from commodity subsidies for corn dogs to sugar supports for cotton candy – and of course, actual cotton subsidies too! Just like you can fry anything on a stick, lawmakers have created their own smorgasbord of every favorite issue on an “infrastructure” stick to get them funded.

So by all means, enjoy your trip to the fair. Just know that as we walk around and hear the carnival barker telling us to step right up to this or that we have a few flashbacks to various wasteful policies and programs awaiting us at work.